I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
