he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
