I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
