Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
