Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
