a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Randomize
