i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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