Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
it's like iHOP with fire
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
