went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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