So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
