It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize