at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
