Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize