dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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