Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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