i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
