found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
