Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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