I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
