there was a trapeze. enough said
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
