If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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