I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
did i just pee glitter
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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