You work out of a Hotel?
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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