had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
