I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
