I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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