Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
