just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Randomize
