Midget sex pt 2 tonight
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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