tell your sister to shave her snatch
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
