I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
