Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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