I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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