Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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