thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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