my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
