k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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