Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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