she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize