i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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