butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
