just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
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