:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
