Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I am one with the molecules
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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