He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
