we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
