yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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