my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Randomize