Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
