Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
