He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I got inside last night via doggy door
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize