i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
