can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize