Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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