Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
