Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Congratulations! We have a period
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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