Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
