You work out of a Hotel?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
