So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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